ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
