chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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