You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
