if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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