Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
