Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
