I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
