yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
