I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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