every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
