and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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