Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
