She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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