I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize