I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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