I am in a vortex of obligation.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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