You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
