Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
