i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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