The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My life is pants optional.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
