sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
