I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
