I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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