Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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