do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
