Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
