About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
