Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
