i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
