Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
