its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
