Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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