I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
