Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
