You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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