after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
