I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
