1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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