I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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