Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
