what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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