My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
