so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize