Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
