just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
