I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
