Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
