dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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