My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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