we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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