Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
