so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize