Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
