I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this boner is exhausting
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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