Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
