I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
