Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
