Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My ass is underappreciated
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
