Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize