i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
