I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
