just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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