so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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