Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
