so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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