No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
COCAINE IS GR8
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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